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June 13th, 2016


07:12 pm - What Am I Doing?
Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about growing older, fairly short term, and feel like I need a companion. I don't have really have friends that have the same interests as me close by. I don't have anyone to hang out where I can be completely be myself and talk about The Walking Dead, video games, tv shows. I was thinking of joining a 'dating' site but not dating just companion. But now I realise I'd prefer a female like me, because I also like clothes, make up and stuff. I'm like half guy half girl (stereotypically speaking).

I've also been thinking about like when my parents and family die. I hang out with them the most, we go to dinners and stuff. I Mum every Sunday, and we're going on holiday later this year. But one day she'll be a lot older, and eventually die, and I won't have anyone to do stuff with. Yeah, I can go on my own, I like my own company, but nowadays going somewhere on your own is risky.

And, with perfect timing as always, The Guy from work who doesn't work there anymore messaged me after about three months of nothing. He messaged me a while back but I never replied.

I replied; he asked how I got on at the hospital and as I got given the all clear last week I think I was desperate to tell him - to tell anybody really. Not a lot of stuff happens in my life, but when it does, I don't really have anyone to tell.

It's just messaging over the Internet, what am I so frazzled about? Maybe because he's the only male contact I've had in over two years. Wow, two years ago since he came round? That's crazy. I don't know. Bitches be crazy, I'm one of the ,

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June 3rd, 2016


07:42 am - The London
I am finally heading to London for the weekend! My friend moved there years ago and I've finally taken her up on the offer to visit.

I've been busy at work because I've had a 3 day week, which has made me tired. Plus, last minute I realised my friend has to work today so I was going to take a small suitcase but I'm not lugging it around, so I was hectic ally trying to find a back pack on next day delivery. Next to the rescue. Then, my debit card details got stolen, bank cancelled my card, haven't got my replacement yet. I can only get money out my account if I go into a TSB branch. Well, not useful because I work an hours drive away. So last night I was rushing around collecting my backpack and then had to go to my Grandad's and borrow some money, which Dad is going to pay him back.

After dinner I was researching places in London, and nearest tubes. Then it was 9pm and I was like WHAT. So I had a dry run of packing, and a shower, so I didn't actually get to bed by 10pm. That is mega late for me. Because I didn't really eat a lot for dinner I couldn't sleep very well. Plus, I'm excited.

Right now, I need a good meal and a decent sleep. And I haven't even really done anything. I wish I'd been more organised with this trip. I haven't even got an Oyster card yet either. Bloody hell. I'm not usually like this.

Anyway, I have Monday off so I will push through when my feet hurt or I feel tired because I can sleep all day on Monday. Wahoo!

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April 16th, 2016


06:23 pm
I can't remember the last time I posted, and I'm too lazy to look. I'm guessing my birthday.

Anyway. Things at work are finally looking up! They have reshuffled people's roles around and I will be doing more, but that means the woman in London I have probably mentioned before is being made redundant, and two other people. There really wasn't enough work to around. And the new owners have told Head Office to cut their expenditure.

Good news is, I'm working more on the brand, and doing product development aswell. I will have a new boss, which I'm pleased about because my current one is starting to get on my tits.

Some bad news, on the flip side, my Mum and Stepdad are getting divorced. I was a bit shocked, but I'm not surprised. They live separate lives, and don't do anything together anymore. It wasn't going anywhere. It's amicable which is nice, but my sister took it hard. But she's only 12 and she doesn't really get why they couldn't stay together.

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March 28th, 2016


05:43 pm - Birthday birthday!
Happy birthday to me!

It really doesn't feel like my birthday, although it has been the perfect excuse to buy myself a KFC for lunch, and a Chinese takeaway for dinner (with a glass of red wine).

I haven't really done anything this weekend to celebrate because it doesn't feel like my birthday, I don't have any money, the weather has been crap, and I do what I want when I want anyway.

Went out for a family meal on Saturday, I had two glasses of wine and I feel like I've been hungover for the past two days. Crazy. That's partially why I had KFC because I felt I needed something a bit greasy.

I didn't really get a lot of presents but they were all good. I don't really need anything, and I couldn't think of anything anyway, because I'd rather people have me the money so I can pay my debt off!

Speaking of which, as we got paid last Thursday, it's only been about 4 weeks since the February wage, and I was really pleased that I had £150 left over! I think it's attributed to not having any council tax this month and that money I earned from eBay.

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March 13th, 2016


03:56 pm - Cha-Ching!
I sold three pairs of shoes and a bundle of lipsticks for £60 on eBay! I had an impromptu cleaning session last Saturday morning, put three pairs of heels I've never worn on eBay and voila! I actually put a forth pair up, but set it up wrong on the site, so instead of starting the bidding at 99p, I put them on as a Buy It now for 99p. Doh! I thought I'd only get £3-£4 per pair, but I was sick of looking at them and moving them around my bedroom so decided to just get rid.

My eBay money coupled with the fact there's no council tax this month, I'm hoping at the end of this month I will have a good amount of money left over to pay off my credit card.

I also broke my rule of not buying anything else to sell on, and bought 50 pairs of vintage earrings off eBay for £25. I'm hoping to sell them for £5 buy it now on eBay, I even set up a separate account as I'm trying to keep the new one to selling vintage items only.

50p + 50p (eBay transaction fee) + 74p (postage) = £1.74
£5.00 - £1.74 = £3.26 per pair X 50 = £163

Sweet!

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February 15th, 2016


09:07 am - My drains are blocked :(
No, it's not a euphemism. They're actually blocked. I noticed a couple of weeks ago the drain in my shower was making horrible and loud gurgling noises one morning. The drain is quite large - it's not a standard plug, it's a corner drain, so my mass of hair can easily get through and down the pipes. I do pick my hair every other time I shower, but obviously, it's not doing the trick.

So I bought some drain unblocker stuff and it said to pour 4 capfuls down the drain. I didn't think that was enough so I just poured a few gluts down. I thought it worked, but over the past week When I've been sitting in the living room I can hear the shower drain gurgling. It's started gurgling throughout the night, and last night it literally kept me awake. Combined with the fact I'm not well, it's not enjoyable. It's super loud, and it sounds like something out of a horror movie.

This morning, I've done a load of washing, and the sink in my kitchen started making horrible noises too! I walked over to the sink and there was water bubbling up through the plug hole! I feared for a second it'd become a scene from a comedy movie and shit would start flowing through the sink! So that's not good. I'm going to get this super strength drain stuff I've seen on the tv and I'm going to put a whole bottle down each drain. It says it disintegrates soap and hair. The reason my kitchen is blocked is because I have a lot of rice with my meals and I always through the remnants down the sink.

So basically, my hair and buckets of rice and blocking my drain :(

That's is basically all that's going on in my life. And I had a horrible cold all weekend. I woke up a lot better today and intended to go to work, but then I saw the snow on the ground and was like "err, no,". So today I'm catching up on washing and tidying. I haven't cleaned properly for three weekends because I've been ill. I've been shut in since Friday night. Even though that's my usual style, when it's done against my will, I don't like it. I'm actually looking forward to going to Tesco later and buying this drain stuff.

Happy times!

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February 4th, 2016


08:56 pm
I hate periods! Recently, I've noticed before my period I get weepy. Like, sad weepy. I guess I used to get it before but I can't remember it being this bad. I just want to cry, but I don't at the same time because there's nothing to be sad about. I might watch a video about abused dogs on YouTube or something to get the tears flowing.

That Guy has also said he might want to come round again soon. I don't think I can handle it emotionally. It's just like...I don't get it. And I don't trust him either. I'm not sure of his motives or his end goal. I'm going to tell him it's not convenient then just ignore him. Until the next time I decide not to.

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February 1st, 2016


08:15 pm
I am so done with work. I don't know how I could've absolutely loved it, now I want to leave. If I was busier, I don't think it would be as bad. My Dad said everything is in motion for him, so in a maximum of 6 months, when they have found some offices, I can start my new job :D I just want to work somewhere where people know what they're doing, can spell and have basic grammar.

So...in maximum six months (hopefully) I will be on a higher wage, and won't be travelling as far to work which in turn reduce my petrol usage (currently filling up three times, hopefully it will go back down to once) which saves me £80-£100 per month. In two years (sounds a lot but it's really not) I will have paid my car off which is an extra £200 per month. After my credit card is paid off I want to start saving and get a mortgage down payment. I'm thinking of going for an interest only mortgage. I know I can live on what I have now, so I just need to have the end goal in sight and really stick to a budget.

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January 4th, 2016


07:39 pm - Hello, yes, I'd like to uninstall my period please?
Ladies, I know ya'll will feel me on this. The time of the month is upon me, and although I've had years riding the dragon, this one is a doozy. I'm ready to flip at any second. I'm EXTREMELY irritable. All day at work if someone laughed, sneezed, coughed or even breathed in a way I didn't like I was cussing them out like a sailor in my head.

There's someone I used to be friends with at school on my Facebook and shes announced she's having a baby in June. I checked on her profile and she's only been in a relationship since last September with this guy. Whoa. What? 4 months and you're having a baby? I know accidents happen but I just ...wow. It looks like he has three kids already so...it's none of my business and it's Aunt Flow talking but Jesus fucking Christ. It's hard because I don't like kids nor do I want them, so when someone is pregnant I'm like 😨

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December 11th, 2015


09:45 pm - You shall go ... No more!
The phone interview was scary. I didn't 'get through' to the next round, and a part of me is relieved. I am proud I got as far as I did.

Also, I'm thinking about America next year. I'm still leaning to no thanks. 80% no, 20% yes. I would just rather spend the time and money and go somewhere different. Also, my divorced grandparents will probably go. They don't really like each other, but tolerate each other and are civil. They bitch about each other behind each other's backs. My grandad will not want to go anywhere, and if he does he can't walk/do much for very long. My Nanna likes to do stuff, but she can't do a lot. Also, we will most likely have to share a house, with my Dad, and I'm not sharing a room with anyone. Or a bathroom. Apparently, grandad pisses on the floor (he stayed with my uncle and his partner one year and his partner was telling me she had to clean the bathroom up everyday. Yuck).

I know I may sound like a total spoilt bitch but I just don't want my Dad spending all that money on me when I'm not raring to go.

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